Creating Change for a More Authentic Life

Wouldn’t it be nice if life came with a manual? A ‘how to’ guide to leading an authentic life?

My guess is that there have been moments where you felt dissatisfied with life. You may know that the life you are living is NOT true to who you are, but you aren’t sure how to navigate the path to get to an authentic life.

In fact, I bet one of the barriers for you leading a more authentic life is because change can feel big and scary and overwhelming.

While I understand change is difficult, I know that it’s possible.

Many people view change as an obstacle or something to overcome. This can be a detrimental thought process. It can make change feel overwhelming and almost impossible.

Instead, try seeing change for what it is… a process, an evolution.

Two things I want you to remember about bringing change into your life: first, break down change into smaller pieces. Second, get mindful and focus on the step you are taking today. Just today’s step. These two things will make bringing change into your life manageable and do-able and possible.

If you aren’t quite sure what would feel true and authentic to you… that’s ok! Sometimes it takes a bit of time and experiences and experimenting to figure out what feels genuine and good to you.

The best way to start creating an authentic life is to try something new and see how it feels to you. 

Be aware of your needs, desires, and interests and make conscious choices about what works and what doesn’t work in your life.

  • Have you been looking at new hair styles or colors but didn’t think you could ‘pull it off’?
  • Curious about participating in a new activity but always let others’ (or your own) fears get in the way?
  • Daydream about dressing a certain way but are not sure how others would see you?
  • Want to start a new career that’s in a field you’re passionate about but haven’t done more than search job listings?

How will you know if it feels authentic or not if you don’t try it?

Once you start trying new things, evaluate them with this gauge:

  • If it feels great, then continue. Explore it. Pursue it. Live it. Invest yourself in it.
  • If it doesn’t connect with your authentic self then stop!
  • If you aren’t sure, take some more time. Make some adjustments and try it again.

There are going to be bumps in the road to self-discovery. A real testament to your character is being able to get back up when you fall, dusting yourself off, and taking off again.

Remember, there isn’t a right or wrong way to lead an authentic life, there is just YOUR way. Be bold and fearless.



Adriana Joyner, LMFT, is a Sacramento Area therapist specializing in counseling for people healing from painful life experiences and traumas, support for individuals exploring their gender identity and expression, and the LGBTQIA community. Her office is located in Gold River, CA located off Highway 50 at Sunrise Blvd.  For more information or to schedule a consultation, please call (916) 547-3997 or email