You have the Right to be Assertive

I was scrolling through Pinterest this morning, drinking coffee and avoiding doing responsible things like cleaning, when I saw this image of Assertive Rights.


It shook me reading this list, realizing just how powerful these truths are. 


I have the right to make mistakes.  YES!!

I have the right to feel and express my anger.  EXACTLY!

I am not responsible for the actions of others.  TRUTH!


I want to yell this list from mountain tops and spread this message to the world. I want everyone to believe these messages, that these rights apply to you and all the people around you! 


We all have the right to ask for help.

We all have the right to say no and not feel guilty.

We all have the right to be treated with respect.


While these are powerful truths, I think what is resonating so deeply for me is how rarely I see people actually holding these as truths for themselves or others.  There is so much doubt and questioning in our lives. People holding themselves back from saying "I don't know" or "I'm not sure" out of the fear of judgment from others.  People hiding their feelings, thoughts and experiences from others.  

Today I say fuck it. Be you. Be raw and vulnerable. If someone can't handle it, then they probably aren't the right person to have in your life. If someone isn't respecting you, or allowing you to say 'no', or validating your experiences, THEY have the problem, not you. THEY aren't the right person to have in your life. Let's help you find new people to have around you. Let's help you find a tribe that supports you.

Today I encourage you to pick just one of these affirmations and let yourself believe it. Put it on a post-it on your bathroom mirror or computer monitor. Say it out loud. Text it to a friend, all your friends. Sing a song about it. Draw it or paint it. Tell your loved ones that it applies to them too.

Believe it!



Adriana Joyner, LMFT, is a Sacramento area therapist specializing in helping people lead authentic lives.  Adriana’s most passionate about supporting individuals exploring their gender and sexuality, and advocating for the LGBTQIA community. Her office is located in Gold River, CA located off Highway ‪50 at Sunrise Blvd. For more information or to schedule a consultation, please call ‪(916) 547-3997 or email